What up hoops fans, it’s K.M. here, pissed off and about to swear a lot.
So if you are at work or in church or just a fucking pussy, save yourself the trouble and don’t scope our terrible picks this week.
This season has been nothing short of fucking terrible. Bryan and myself both sit a pathetic 2 games under .500. Now, I know full well that 16-18 or 17-19 against the number isn’t the WORST fucking shit ever. Bryan takes his record very hard, and man, I respect that. We don’t have to feel like such ass about our record in college hoops, after all, the best gamblers in the world only won 2 out of 3 sports seasons. But we both do, and I love that he’s so into dominating that he finds his record unacceptable, even though neither of us are down THAT much. I’m in the same boat he is, make no fucking mistake.
We both know we’ve done terrible, but the simple fact is we are both just a 5-1 week away from eeking out a profit on the year, and while there is no fucking reason on earth to believe that we have a 5-1 week in us, we arn’t going to stop trying for one.
Meanwhile, Gus has it nothing short of rough. His start to his career is not exactly full of fame and success. But you just have to read him to know he knows his stuff. He’s taking a TON of lumps this year, but if he learns the lessons that the cruel gambling gods teach us all from time to time, he’ll be better for it. This season is reaching the point where it’s looking lost for all of us, Gus most of all. But gambling isn’t about a week, a season, or a year, it’s a life journey. Stick with the man. Fuck his Orangemen, don’t get that twisted. But the Guru may not have the start he intended to, but it’s nothing more then that, the very start of what could be a very long career for the kid. Judge him how you want, but I’m beyond your fucking judgment, what I did in college football speaks volumes, and I’m up about +25 in the NBA, so you know I know what the hell is up, and I like him. I wouldn’t have suggested we call him the Guru if I didn’t think he had potentional, given that I started my sports prediction career under the moniker “College Guru”.
Gus’s a loser this year, but he’s Bryan’s loser, and I’ve adoped him as my loser too. And nothing that Bryan or myself associate with stays a loser for long. So fuck the haters, eat a dick, and kiss our ass. We know this season has been terrible. But we know we fucking rule, so even if the season ends like it started, you better believe there’s more games, more sports, and more things to predict in the future. You know what we can do, we know what we will do, everyone with any gambling sense knows that you don’t win all the time, but it’s the motherfuckers with the balls to stick with it and the brains to keep going at it that are the winners. We got balls and brains in excess, so don’t worry about us.
And why am I so swear-y this week? You thought I was kidding about that threat I made last week about what I would do if we didn’t have a Memphis game on this slate? You don’t know shit if you thought I was bluffing. No fucking Memphis = massive fucking swearing. COCK. Plus I’ve been drinking for the last 7 hours. I’m down a liter and a half of tonic water, to let you know the amount of Bombay Sapphire I got in my system. WOOOOOOOOOOO.
Guru: 17-19 SU, 13-23 ATS
Bryan: 17-19 SU, 16-18-2 ATS
K.M: 20-16 SU, 17-19 ATS
Bet The House: 5-8
Roll The Dice: 3-1
K.M Crapshoots: 7-4
Bryan Crapshoots: 3-1
2pm-#7 BYU at #6 SDST (-3.5)
Guru: San Diego State has only lost 1 game this season but the loss was to the Cougars of BYU back on January 26th. In this match-up the key for the Aztecs will be slowing down Jimmer Fredette the favorite for National Player of Year who torched SDSU for 43 points in their first meeting. If the Aztecs can slow down Fredette and make other Cougars beat them they should be in good shape to pull off a victory. SDSU has 4 players who average double figures and that balance and the fact that are in front of their home crowd will be the difference in a closely contested game. Look for Kawhi Leonard to have a big game as the sophomore leads the Aztecs in scoring(15ppg) and rebounding at over 10.5 per game. At home I like San Diego State because of their offensive rebounding and scoring balance.
San Diego State 75 BYU-69
Bryan: Best game on this slate. This was a great game last time and the discussion is around whether either of these teams can get a #1 seed in March Madness? Do TCU and Boise get invited to the BCS CG? No. Same thing here. I dont think either really has a chance at a #1 seed unless the consensus teams in contention all fall on their faces. BYU got them last time in Provo with Jimmer playing like the beast he is. This one is in the Aztecs back yard and considering I think SDST is a better team than BYU, BYU just happens to have the best player, I’m going to once again go with the Aztecs. They have a pretty solid starting 5 and play exceptional defense. The only concern is they sometimes don’t score very well. I think SDST’s frontcourt will send a message in this one and control the paint, getting SDST a great end of the season W.
Prediction : SDST 65 BYU 58
K.M.: We’ve done this game before, where I know BYU gave me a mark in the winning column, which is pretty fucking surprising given my record this year. SDSU has no home losses, and only one road loss, the aforementioned one, which is a no shit sentence if I ever typed one. I like Kawhi Leonard, I think he’s going to be a great pro. And Jimmer isn’t quite as hot as he was to start the season, of that there is no question. SDSU is a team a lot of people arn’t overly familiar with, as a top 8 team, it’s not like they get a lot of airtime, Sportscenter time, ink time, they are rather ignored. They are a darkhorse 1 seed. But Jimmer loves the big stage, and even if BYU is the square team here, I kinda like the square but popular MWC team to get the W here. It’s a fuck of a game to call, I wouldn’t take it straight up, but I know I’ll be getting some points here, so I got two ways to win, BYU win or close SDSU win, and I’ll take my chances that one of the two happens.
Prediction: BYU 77, SDSU 74
2pm- #23 St. John’s at # 15 Villanova (-6)
Guru: The Johnnies have been the giant killer in college basketball all season and have another chance to knock off a top 15 team as they fave Villanova at the Pavilion. St. John’s has won 5 straight and 7 of the past 8 games but on the road I think another road win may be too tall an order. Villanova on the other hand has been inconsistent of late and is coming off a close loss at home against Syracuse at home. I like Villanova behind senior guards Corey Fisher and Corey Stokes to take care of the streaking Red Storm who have been through a murderous schedule of late.
Villanova 76- St. John’s 64
K.M.: Hey, I like the fucking Jonnies. Steve Lavin is awesome. He says stupid shit and looks like he should have been on the Jersey Shore if they had that fucking show in the 80′s. St Johns has a ton of impressive home wins this season. This game ain’t at the motherfucking Garden. ‘Nova don’t do me right all season (this fragment sounds so damn retarded I refuse to edit it), but I have to assume at home vs. a team that most people feel is all but in the tourney, they can get a W here by a fair margin. You better believe I’m scared as shit to bet against Dwight Hardy, but I’ll man up and take Nova to cover with ease because I simply doubt St. John’s motivation. The Wildcats best make some damn threes, or I may develop a grudge against Nova that they will rue.
Prediction: Nova 70, St Johns 61
Bryan: Yea, I really want to be done with Syracuse, Uconn, and Nova. Those 3 teams have burnt me like no other this season but we were running out of choices and we haven’t gotten St. John’s in yet. Lavin’s boys have been putting together quite the list of wins recently with most of those coming at the house that K.M Venne built. Nova has been reeling and could use this win to re-establish themselves as a player in the Big East race. Nova’s guards are what they live and die by and even in recent wins have been unimpressive. I keep seeing St. John’s as about a 5/6 seed in the bracketologys and their wins aren’t going to go anywhere. I made a vow this week to go against my instinct more since, well, my instincts suck so far. But I just don’t see the Johnnies taking Nova down on the road.
Prediction : Villanova 72 St. John’s 64
4pm-#13 Florida at #22 Kentucky (-8)
Guru: The 2 top teams in the SEC face off in Lexington in a rematch of the February 5th game in which Florida won 70-68. Florida has found consistency in SEC play as they have won 6 straight and 9 of 10 because of a balanced scoring attack headlined by Erving Walker who leads the Gators at 15ppg. The Wildcats are the opposite of the Gators as they rely on youth as their three leading scorers are freshmen, led by Terrence Jones and Brandon Knight. The 2 freshman combine for 36 points a game and scored 42 of Knetucky’s points in the two teas previous match-up. In this match-up the key for me is home court and with the game being played in Lexington, I’m going with the Wildcats. Kentucky has not lost all season at Rupp Arena and even against the SEC leading Gators, I am sticking with the home team behind a double double from Terrence Jones.
Kentucky 71-Florida 67
Bryan: Thank god this game is in Lexington or I would just pick Florida and type two words: road game. Seriously, has Kentucky done anything outside of Lexington since about December? Calipari loves these one and done players but its hit or miss with them, and though all of his freshman are talented, they are not elite talent like he had in Memphis and last year. Florida to me is one of the most head-scratching teams in CBB. I’ve watched this team about 5-6 times and I still have no idea how they are the 13th best team in the country. Parsons looks like your typical CYO superstar and yet he seems to find ways every game to make plays. Walker has also come up big in games against Tennessee and Georgia. Florida only needs one win in their last 3 to win the SEC East, and I think they are looking forward to their home game this week vs. Bama. I don’t think they want it as bad in Kentucky whose seed is plummeting with every conference road loss. Wildcats take care of business at home.
Prediction : Kentucky 74 Florida 67
K.M.: Kentucky is terrible as a motherfucker on the road , but very good at home. I think my favorite player this season is Deron Lamb. his shooting, defense, and poise for the Cats is really fun to watch, while Jones and Knight get all the pub, Lamb is quietly the anchor of the Cats in my opinion. I like what I saw out of the Cats against South Cock-a-lina as well, with Darius Miller finally finding his scoring touch. Kentucky is the MUCH more talented team on paper. Kentucky plays up to their talent at home most every time. So I’ll take Kentucky to do what they do and continue to fight for a halfway decent seed, beating a Gators team that has the East all but on lock down. Expect a 4 deep scoring attack from the Cats to just be too much for Florida to handle, and for Cats fans to shut the fuck up about the insane shit the say like how Coach Cal has to go and whatnot for at least a few days
Prediciton: Kentucky 77, Florida 66
#4 Pittsburgh at #16 Louisville (-1)
Guru: Another ranked match-up in the Big East pits the Panthers and Cardinals against each other at the new KFC Yum! Center. The Panthers have been one of the most consistent teams in the country and their ranking is even more impressive when you consider they only have 2 losses in a conference that could very well get 11 teams into the NCAA Tournament. Pitt year in and year out is one of the top 10 teams in the nation and this may be their best team yet as Pitt features explosive seniors Brad Wannemaker and Gilbert Brown and light out shooter Ashton Gibbs. Louisville on the other hand has been a pleasant surprise this season as they have exceeded expectations and currently stand 3rd in the Big East. Louisville has relied on the three point shot this season, led by Preston Knowles, Kyle Kuric and Chris Smith who all shoot above 40 percent from down town. Lousiville also has one of the best penetrators in the Big East in Peyton Siva who can get to the bucket seemingly at will for Rick Pitino’s Cards. I like Pittsburgh in this one as their experience, defensive toughness and just pure talent will be too much for an exciting Lousiville team.
Pittsburgh 70 -Louisville 62
K.M.: I don’t like Louisville. They can eat a dick. They are midgets, Pitt is huge, and I don’t understand how Louisville beats anyone. I don’t understand the Big East. Stevie Wonder following the Guru’s vs. the Gamblers with a broken computer monitor and no internet access knows full fucking well I don’t know shit about the Big East. So why you’d take my word for anything I feel about any Big East team is beyond me. But hey, I only know what I know, and when I see Pitt vs. Louisville, I think “Rebounding, rebounding, rebounding”. And I’m sure you think “ignore, ignore, ignore”. So hey, at least we both feel strongly about this game…
Prediction: Pitt 71, Louisville 61
Bryan: Must-see game which probably means I’ll miss it. Louisville has been as good as anyone over the past month or so. Pitt just got Gibbs back a couple games ago and is coming off a 12-round boxing match with West Virginia. This is where I’m changing things up. I think Pitt is better. I would pick Pitt to win 9 times out of 10 here because I love the makeup and experience of Pitt’s team. But what has that done for me latey? Nothing. Give me the Cardinal at home to keep up their hot streak. No idea what the line is going to be here, so I’ll just play it safe.
Prediction : Louisville 78 Pitt 69
#19 North Carolina (-2.5) at Florida State
Guru: North Carolina is quietly having a tremendous season under Roy Williams as the Tar Heels have only lost 2 ACC games and are just 1 game back of top ranked Duke. UNC is led by Tyler Zeller who leads the team in scoring at 14 ppg and ranks 2nd on the ‘Heels in rebounding at almost 7.5 per game. Florida State on the other hand has had a very good season but recently recieved news that their best player and leading scorer Chris Singleton would be out indefinitely with a broken foot. This injury is even more of a problem when you consider that FSU even with Singleton ranks over 200th in field goal percentage and now has no go to scorer as guard Derwin Kitchen averages just under 10 points a game. The Noles are coming off a loss at Maryland earlier in the week and I’m afraid that without Singleton FSU is in even deeper trouble going down the stretch. I like the Tar Heels to win this one pretty convincingly as FSU has a tough enough time scoring with Singleton never mind without him.
North Carolina 76- Florida State-60
Bryan: Florida State to put it lightly was decimated by Singleton’s injury. Frankly, I’ve seen them a few times down here in ACC country and I thought they were overranked and overachieving as it is. Now they lose their best player? I’m not sure they are a top 5 team in the ACC right now. UNC seems to have figured things out since Drew left and Marshall took over. Harrison Barnes is starting to play like the player we were all told he was in the pre-season and the Zeller/Henson combo down low is very difficult to match up with. Both games Clemson played them, the Tigers basically couldn’t get anything in the paint. UNC is one of the quickly rising teams in the nation while FSU is potentially preparing for a freefall. Take the Tar Heels, and expect an easy win.
Prediction : UNC 61 FSU 46
K.M: Chris Singleton is hurt? DO NOT FUCKING CARE. I don’t think UNC is worth two shits. I don’t care if they are playing better at times. Every time I see the Heels, they are playing terrible. Did they give Duke a game? I guess, but all I saw was the second half, so as far as I’m concerned, they got owned. The win at Virginia? I only saw the first half, so as far as I’m concerned, they sucked. Clearly, they have a solid record and are battling for the ACC title. Clearly, they will not win the ACC title, which must go to Duke, per ACC bylaws. So why not lose this one to a Singleton-less FSU team? FSU can still defend, UNC still has massive problems, and I’ll probably get a few points at FSU. I like it. Do I still have a game of the month for February? I think I do. I cashed December and January, so let’s make February’s game of the Month actually in March, and make it this one. FSU, take the points to be safe, but cash that shit!
Prediction: FSU 58, UNC 55
9pm #21 Texas A&M at #3 Kansas (-13.5)
Guru: The Aggies roll into Lawrence with a 5 game winning streak in which they have won at Colorado, Texas Tech and at always rowdy Oklahoma State. Kansas on the other hand has been one of the most dominant teams in the nation as they have just two losses so far on the season and are coming off a blowout win over Oklahoma State. The Jayhawks are led by the Morris twins who combine for over 30 points and 15 rebounds. Add in freshman Josh Selby(11ppg) and sharpshooter Tyrel Reed and the Jayhawks are looking more and more like a complete ball team. In this match-up A&M will have to try and slow down Kansas who will be looking to run and outgun the Aggies at the Phog. I think Kansas is too explosive and athletic for a well coached and solid Texas A&M team that is led by Khris Middleton. Middleton has had big games this season 31 points against Arkansas and 28 against Missouri but he will need probably his best game of the year if Texas A&M wants to pull off the upset at one of the toughest arenas in the country.
Kansas 77-Texas A &M 69
K.M.: I love the Aggies, that is fact. They are a lot better then most of America knows, given most of America somehow knows even less then my ass does about college hoops, but A&M still finds a way to be very two-faced. Big time wins, lame losses, you never know what you are going to get with Texas A&M, outside of good D and a close game a lot of times. Texas has smoked A&M twice, but the other three losses have all been nailbiters. Why does Texas smoke A&M? Athletes. If you have athletes in droves, you will kill my Aggies. Does Kansas have athletes? Yes they do. But hell with it. I’m going to take the Jayhawks, I’m not THAT stupid, but I’m going to let the Aggies keep this one within the number. Kansas isn’t that good on D from what I’ve seen, so the A&M terrible offense should score enough to keep it close. Upset? Highly unlikley, but a cover? I can get behind a fucking cover for my Aggies.
Prediction : Kansas 68 Texas A&M 64
Bryan: Kansas is still fighting for their #1 seed and with Texas going down at Nebraska, Kansas actually has a chance to get a split title still (even though UT would win tie-breaker). K.M loves his Aggies and so I threw him a bone with this one, but A&M is about to get wamboozled. Middleton was on a nice run for a while but the Morris twins should be able to negate much of the points in the paint the Aggies will try to get. At Allen Fieldhouse where the Jayhawks are so tough to beat, trust the home team to get it done and win out on their way into the Big 12 tourney.
Prediction : Kansas 76 Texas A&M 64
LAZY MO-FO GAMBLER’S RECAP:
BYU vs. SDSU (-3.5)
K.M. comes out crapshooting, not just with his mouth, but with a pick, as Byran and Guru take SDSU to win and cover, K.M. takes Jimmer and friends SU.
Update: K.M hits his crapshoot. Me and Guru lose again. In other news the Sun will rise in the East and set in the West tomorrow.
St. Johns vs. Nova (-6)
One of us has to win the BYU/SDSU game. But we’ll all lose this one, as we Bet the House on Nova, meaning we are doomed to fail somehow.
Update: WHY DON’T I FOLLOW THROUGH WITH MY PLANS??? I vowed to go against my instincts this week, and my instincts led me to coward out and take Nova. Another Bet The House loss.
Florida vs. Kentucky (-8)
Bryan has figured out the secret to not taking losses is to predict a game on the spread exactly, which is what he did. Guru likes Florida on the number, but UK straight up, K.M. likes the Cats to win and cover
Update: Alright, I’ll change and go to 7. That’s allowed right? Hell, if anything I’m just giving me a crapshoot loss.
Update Update: PUSH!!!!!! Now what would have happened if I stayed at the push? Would I have gotten credit for that? Nonetheless, it’s one less loss that one of us has to suffer which we’ll all gladly take.
After Saturday, Guru and myself (Bryan) are 1-2 SU, 0-2-1 ATS. K.M. is 2-1 SU, 1-1-1 ATS.
Pitt @ Louisville (-1)
Guru and K.M like the Panthers to win SU. So Bryan is crapshooting with Louisville laying a point.
Update: I don’t know if I should be proud or discouraged by the Louisville win. On one hand it’s a crapshoot win for me. On the other hand I fully admitted I was picking the Cards for no reason other than I thought Pitt would win. So in other words, I proved how unintelligent I am at picking Big East games. In the words of Red Stripe. Hooray!!
After Sunday’s 1 game, Guru stands at 1-3 SU, 0-3-1 ATS. K.M is 2-2 SU, 1-2-1 ATS. I (Bryan) am also 2-2 SU, 1-2-1 ATS.
North Carolina (-2.5) vs. Florida State
Bryan and Guru went for UNC SU and to cover, K.M. goes crapshooting with the Noles SU.
Update: A late Harrison Barnes 3 takes away a SU win for K.M., but his crapshoot covers by the hook. K.M. is proud to say he smoked 4 cigarettes at the end of this game sweating his cover, but he’s still undefeated on his plays of the month.
Texas A&M vs. Kansas (-13.5)
We all take Kansas to win, and bet the house on A&M to stay within the huge number. Expect Kansas by 50.
Update: Gotta love those .5 spreads added on. Gets us a Bet The House win and all of us a sweep on game plays.
End of the Week, Gus goes 3-3 SU, 1-4-1 ATS. K.M goes 3-3 SU, 3-2-1 ATS. Bryan goes 4-2 SU, 2-3-1 ATS.
1-1 on our Bet The Houses. K.M 2-0 on his crapshoots. Bryan 1-0 in his crapshoots.
K.M you have season to date records?