It was an interesting NBA draft to say the least. I really can’t quantify what is going to happen down the road, my crystal ball is in my wife’s bag along with all my other balls, and you just never know, but I read something on azcentral.com/sports about what the Suns said about Markieff Morris, their first round selection and the 13th pick overall and it got me thinking, what are they really trying to say?
I took the time to go around the NBA community and scour through the local papers to find what other teams were saying about their own first round picks, and what I think they really mean, so sit back and check out what your team really thought about their own selections.
Phoenix Suns:
What they said- “Love his intangibles,” Blanks said. “He’s tough. We have a team that is resilient, but he offers us a mental and a physical toughness that is almost impossible to quantify with numbers. He will be able to balance out our front line and offer us a toughness that is much-needed here.”
What they mean- So, yeah, we probably should have resigned Amar’e Stoudemire instead of spending over $15 million on Josh Childress, Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick. Instead we got a guy now that plays good defense and is tough. He does a lot of stuff that won’t show up on the stat sheet, because he can’t do a lot of things that can be qualified with stats, that may have something to do with the fact that he lacks that ability, but did I mention he was tough?
Cleveland Cavaliers:
What they said- “We’re constantly looking forward — day by day, brick by brick for us to get a little bit better every day,” General Manager Chris Grant said. “Today was a chance to add two high-quality humans to the organization — and they just happen to be really good basketball players. So for us, that’s part of the process.”
What they meant: Now that that douche canoe of a human being Lebron James has faltered in his initial attempt at winning a ring, we can start trying to rebuild our franchise with anti-Lebron type players, meaning people that won’t make Cleveland want to burn itself to the ground. Of course they are also anti-Lebron in talent and ability, so we won’t have to worry about them leaving in 4 or 5 years because really who will want them after what we are about to do to them.
Charlotte Bobcats:
What they said- “Michael is a big fan of Kemba’s, not just as a basketball guy, but what the kid stands for,” Higgins told the Observer. “Michael let it be known a long time ago that he loves this kid, so let’s try to find a way to get him. So that started as soon as his season was over.”
“He seems really confident, yet humble. He’s very mature and yet you can see he’s still a kid,” Cho described. “It’s an infectious personality and he has the DNA of the person and player we want to bring in here.”
What they meant- Michael wanted the kid, and he owns the team, so we have to do what he says. Sure we don’t agree with 99% of the basketball decisions he has made in his career, but he’s the boss.
I know he speaks 6 languages, but I really can’t understand any of them, and don’t really know anything about this kid other than he may or may not be 18, he couldn’t see the floor in his only season of professional basketball, and he has no discernible offensive ability on a team that can barely score 80 points a game anyways and I just traded away our best offensive player. Shit, I hope that he is not the next Saer Sene, because I really want to keep a job for longer than my last one.
Sacramento Kings:
What they said- I can’t find the transcript, so you need to listen to this, because even Gavin Maloof doesn’t believe what he is saying:
What they meant- If it isn’t obvious enough, “We drafted Jimmer because we need an influx of cash, whether or not he can play, we will now start a new streak of sell outs.”
Washington Wizards:
What they said- “We think Jan can play,” Coach Flip Saunders said. “We think he can come in right away, and he can be a guy that can be a rotation guy and can play for us. He’s a freak athlete. Maybe the greatest skill that he has — outside of kissing — is probably how hard he plays. He plays unbelievably hard. He’s got a high motor, and that goes along with how we played at the end of the year when we had success.”
“We didn’t think [Singleton] would be there at 18, so we didn’t think it was realistic, but that’s the way the draft goes,” Grunfeld said. “You never know. Everybody ranks their players a bit different, and we were fortunate enough to be able to get him down there.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wizards-insider/post/czech-wizards-covered-every-position-in-the-draft/2011/06/24/AG7t2TiH_blog.html
What they meant- Seriously? We got these two guys, two of the top players at their positions at the 6th and 18th pick in the draft? I love that people pass on talent for need so much in this league.
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