The Sports Headquarters

Special week for the readers now. Only thing that beats us praising our teams is us ripping our teams. Spoiler Alert: Clemson lost!!!! That means I question everything about Clemson football and even take some perhaps unnecessary shots at our fanbase. Wait, that’s not a smart thing to do before applying for an athletic office internship?  TOO LATE!!! We work through the madness of this college football weekend now to bring you the top 15 teams in America. Our noses were on early in the year and still were ahead of the curve on some. Unfortunately Wisconsin is going to lead me like a lemming right off a cliff pretty soon. Still, we don’t care about the #12-15 teams in the country as we make clear each week. It is the top ten we’re concerned with and unfortunately this year, it has been a pretty easy year to rank those teams. Still, you’ll probably come away thinking we’re idiots or brilliant. And lets be honest, who doesn’t enjoy reading brilliant stupidity?

It’s the Top 15 teams in America after Week 9…..

1. LSU Tigers (Bryan: 1st, K.M: 1st)- 30 points

Bryan: What do I really need to say here? They had a bye. They probably gained ground on the teams playing simply by resting. Nothing happened this weekend to really diminish their repuatation in my eyes. It’s time for the game of the bi-century. Wait, didn’t we establish last week that bi-century isn’t a word? Don’t care. Same deal. Biggest game in the history of college football. Yes, I just went there. Is it? Probably not, but it feels like it. LSU and Bama have barely been challenged all year. Can’t wait to see Hat vs. Saban in big-game moments.

Trending: You know my thoughts. Bama was my pre-season champ. LSU was K.M’s. They play this weekend. Bama’s at home. You think I’m backing off my pick now? You haven’t paid attention to how stubborn I am. LSU is no lower than 4th after next week, most likely 3rd.

K.M: LSU had a great week throwing short pitches and out routes against the bye. They looked good on offense against the Bye Dragons (The bye week needs a mascot, right? Why not Dragons? Dragons are awesome. You watch Game of Thrones, right? You should.). I’m convincing myself that spending two weeks gameplanning for the 8 offensive plays that LSU runs when they arn’t running some crazy trick play may be overkill for the Alabama team. LSU does not really play football. I’ve said it a thousand times. LSU prefers rock fights to football. They aim to dumb the game down to their level and beat the hell out of you playing at that level. LSU is a Tecmo Bowl team. And speaking of trick plays, you know Les has some dandies lined up for this game. LSU! LSU! HAT! HAT!

Trending: NOWHERE. I was never surprising you guys this week with who I had wining this game. You all knew that.

2. Alabama Crimson Tide (K.M: 2nd, Bryan: 2nd)- 28 points

K.M: Man, I cannot wait for this game. You know how ESPN always does those stupid countdowns for dumb stuff that you don’t want to watch? ONLY 6 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE WNBA ALL-STAR GAME! This game should have had a countdown starting in like week 2. After LSU beat Oregon and Alabama laughed at Penn State, this game was clearly The Game. Worst case, after Alabama beat Arkansas, every other game lost a little bit of luster in comparison to what we are about to witness. Relish this game. This is going to be beyond awesome. It’s a rare game that has the potentional game to be the best college football game ever, but this one has that possibility. If you miss this game, you suck. You suck big time. So much sucking you do if you miss this game. Blow off your wife or kids or girlfriend or family or parole officer or whatever, watch this mess. Or suck. Suck forever.

Trending: Down a bit maybe, maybe not. It’s my call.

Bryan: Screw me over and god help yourselves. But honestly, same deal for you. I can’t repeat myself too much. You covered a god-damn 30 point spread against the Vols in one-half. That isn’t fair. Trent Richardson solidifies the Heisman with a big game on Saturday night. The actual Heisman? Maybe not. But my vote? Absolutely. O my vote doesn’t count? Too bad Trent. Remember “Game of the Bi-Century.” Lets get it on….

Trending: #1 for rest of year. After you beat LSU, do you really think anyone can beat you. Did you see Georgia play Florida. Hahahaha, I know that was funny. Remember what you did to Florida? Jesus. You owe Auburn about a 40-point beating after last year’s Iron Bowl.

3. Oklahoma State Cowboys (Bryan: 3rd, K.M: 3rd)- 26 points

Bryan: Oklahoma State’s defense isn’t great. In fact I’d be hard-pressed to even call it very good. But I’m beginning to wonder if it is “good enough” to make this team unbeatable before the NCG. Oklahoma certainly will pose a problem, no question about it. But this offense scores 45-50 on everyone. You have to score about 55 to beat this team. And with the way they seem to force turnovers, I’m not sure anyone can do that. This just in: Justin Blackmon is a freak. Uncoverable. I had him as a Heisman finalist preseason and am getting concerned he won’t make it to NY. Well if he doesn’t Heisman voters should have their votes revoked. There’s not 4 better players in America. Might not even be 1. Cowboys looked great on Saturday. Solidified #2 until they lose. Are Alabama and LSU better? Probably, but Oklahoma State will have done enough to pass the loser UNLESS LSU and Bama just play an absolute classic. They destroyed a Baylor team who is looking more and more average by the week, but shutting them out in the first half showed me a lot from their defense.

Trending: Kansas St at home then road trips vs Texas Tech and Iowa St. I think Kansas St. can make a game of it if they can control the clock, but Pokes should win. After that, I don’t care what Texas Tech did to Oklahoma. The Cowboys will be unbeaten when Oklahoma comes to town as long as they beat Kansas St. this weekend. With Clemson out, this is who I want playing for the title if we can’t have a rematch.

K.M: Bryan raises a great point about the OSU defense. They score so much, all they really need to do is force a few turnovers. They practically play Arena football. Field goals are half a stop, get about 4 of them, and they are good. Unless they play LSU or Bama. Then they are boned. But we can cross that bridge when we get there. For now, they are an elite offense. You know all about that side of the ball. I won’t bore you with the details. However, OSU will bore you with the beating they will give K-State. Destruction, terror, and mayhem. Wildcats are suckers, the Pokes will stay them. Something like that.

Trending: Maybe up, who knows? Not  me.

4. Stanford Cardinal (K.M: 4th, Bryan: 4th)- 24 points

K.M:I saw that comeback from Luck coming a mile away, called it in the Sexy Six. MY 40% PREDICTIVE POWERS WERE RIGHT! I RULE. I’m pretty good calling the way the games I win go, although I got a crappy push out of that one actually, but that’s just the way this year has gone for me, even when I’m right I don’t get a damn win. Total BS year. College Hoops is going to pay a steep price for this football season to date. Stanford is very good. They aren’t great, we all know that. And I’m fully of the opinion that Oregon is going to give this team a loss, so any debate about Stanford’s BCS National Title future to me is pointless. But as usual, Luck rules, Stanford is solid, Pac-12 is lame and rarely worth watching, Amen.

Trending: Here for now, or hereabouts at least.

Bryan: Ehh, more or less here because you’re unbeaten, have finally beaten some decent teams, and Boise was on bye. Only got to see about last 5 minutes of this game and overtime but not that impressed. I’ve seen USC multiple times this year now and USC shouldn’t be taking you to 3OT. USC isn’t taking LSU, Bama, Oklahoma St., Oregon, Clemson, or Arkansas to 3 OT. But as a Clemson fan I’d trade places with Stanford anyday right now, even if it meant 3OTs against inferior competition. Stanford defense was gashed repeatedly and had me contemplating whether Stanford should have gone for 2-point conversion at end of second OT. Nonetheless, Stanford just has to win, not impressively since they’re likely only playing for title if Oklahoma State loses and likely won’t be passed by any 1-loss teams or Boise. Luck did show poise responding after the late pick-6. I’m concerned what would happen if this team played someone with a defense. Can’t expect 50 every week, especially when you’re not of the offensive talent that a team like Oregon, Oklahoma or Oklahoma State have. Still, much worse places to be right now.

Trending: It would be a major surprise if they lost to Oregon State. They’ll probably be here next week. Can’t see any team I have below them jumping them even if they’re unimpressive. Season comes down to 2 weeks. Beat Oregon and odds are they just play “sit and wait” with Oklahoma State. Lose that game as I said they would all year and I probably will drop this team out of top 10.

5. Boise St. Broncos (Bryan: 5th, K.M 5th): 22 points

Bryan: Bye week. San Diego State lost. TCU won vs BYU and may even gain fraudulent ranking status with a win over Wyoming this week. Georgia stayed alive in SEC East race as well as Tulsa got a big win vs SMU. Notice a trend here? Nothing Boise St does really matters. They just have to keep winning (which they likely will) and sit and wait to see what happens with their prior opponents’ seasons. Won’t jump Stanford or Oklahoma State before season ends without a loss from those teams. Oklahoma or Oregon probably jumps them before all is said and done. I’m not sure I’ll ever have this team higher than 5th the remainder of the year. And stop the talk this is the best team Boise has had. Last year’s Boise team was 2-TD better than this year’s if they played one another.

Trending: Flat or down. Up at this point looks like a pipedream.

K.M: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Trending: *snore*

6. Oregon Ducks (K.M: 6th, Bryan: 6th)- 20 points

K.M: We’re learn a lot about Oregon this week vs. Washington in the classic trap game situation, Washington is decent, Oregon should rout, but will they? I don’t know. Like I’ve said all year, I don’t know a damn thing about Oregon. I knew they didn’t have what it took to beat LSU. And every other game from them has been a clear win. So how are you supposed to learn a damn thing about them when they play that schedule? You aren’t, that’s the answer to that. Now go whoop Washington and maybe I’ll say something new about you.

Trending: Slowly up.

Bryan: Really just unimpressive vs Washington State. Not even sure why you bothered playing Thomas or James. Just let them rest and get ready for Stanford which is pretty much your season at this point as no matter how close you get, I just don’t see a realistic BCS title shot. What are the odds the pollsters put you back on the field with LSU? If Bama is there, it will just hurt you even more that the team you lost to isn’t #1. I’d be very surprised if you got back into the national championship game under any scenario, but I guess you have to coach like you can.

Trending: Big trap game this weekend at Washington before the Stanford game. Get caught looking ahead and you could slip up. Won’t be surprised at all if Polk runs all over you. Still, win the next two games and it’s probably only the PAC-12 title game between you and a 12-1 regular season. I’ll be watching your game and Oklahoma’s game vs A&M closely this weekend. Oklahoma is closing fast on you.

T-7. Oklahoma Sooners (Bryan: 7th, K.M: 8th)- 17 points

Bryan: Such a damn shame this team blew it vs Texas Tech. As a Clemson fan, it was worth it at the time, but now it just pisses me off you wasted such great talent. Nonetheless it is amazing how much one week changes everything. You went from looking out of it altogether a week ago to now looking as if winning out + a Stanford loss could get you into title game. Say thank you to the BCS system that doesn’t care you have fared terribly against every conference but your own in recent years. They’ll keep putting you back in the title game if you’re close. There’s enough big games left on your schedule for you to build a strong resume’.

Trending: Up. Texas A&M, Baylor and Bedlam is tougher than 3 games most teams play all season. Win out and you’ll hop Boise and possibly even the PAC-12 champ if it’s Oregon. The second-tier of teams this year is just so weak you can afford one-loss and not fall that far.

K.M: Is Bob Stoops done losing this year? I think so. I’m not ready to say it for sure. Why would I? Dude is a choke artist, always has been. Shame too, because this is a talented team who could have done something with a better coach. I’m not the biggest Landry Jones fan, in fact I’m up there in Landry Jones hater rankings, but the rest of this team (sans RB) is legit as it comes outside of the top 2. Still a lot of season to play for only means still a lot of season to blow for Stoops, however. Will they even get to Bedlam with just the 1 loss? I got my doubts.

Trending: Down sooner or later.

T-7. Arkansas Razorbacks (K.M: 7th, Bryan: 8th)- 17 points

K.M: Not the most impressive game last week to say the least against a secret good Vandy team, but still, winning a game counts when nobody else can do it. Couple this with the game vs. Ole Miss though, and I’m not thinking this team is going to last here for very long. It seems like they should beat South Carolina, but I’m not convinced at the moment. You can only underachieve so long before it bites you. Without Lattimore, South Carolina should be a beating, and it better be if Arkansas wants to show they are what they could be.

Trending: Eventually LSU is coming, down after that. Before that, who knows.

Bryan: Love the Hogs. That’s no secret, but be grateful so many teams ahead of you last week lost. To go from 11th to 8th in my poll in a game you need a chip shot FG miss from Vanderbilt says how lucky of a week it was for you. Hopefully these last two weeks have just been downers on the road because you’ve looked far from the top 10 team I’ve pumped you up to be most of the year. Like Stanford though, if there’s a year where you don’t have to win impressively, this year is that. Not as if you’re a national championship threat. In fact, you reek of a Cotton Bowl ceiling, but who knows, handle your business and you get a crack at LSU late in the year.

Trending: Flat. Can’t really gain much from beating a Lattimore-less Gamecocks team this weekend and after that Mississippi St. and Tennessee wouldn’t get you anything. Still, you’re a few should-be home wins from 10-1 and going to Death Valley so things could be worse. Lose a game at this point at home before LSU and I will KILL you in this poll, probably out.

9. Clemson Tigers (K.M: 10th, Bryan: 9th)- 13 points

K.M: GT is a tricky team. They play that triple option football that requires you to have talent and experience at linebacker. There is a reason that Miami whips Georiga Tech except for when Miami is really young. If you got 4 and 5 star linebackers, GT isn’t a problem. Clemson is a good recruiting program, but linebacker isn’t exactly their strong suit on defense. It’s hard to bury Clemson for losing a game against the Bees, since the Bees always give Clemson a handful and some. I can understand how this loss happens. It’s a shame for Clemson and their fans, sure, but that’s college football for you. Georgia Tech are no slouches, and Clemson still has the ACC to play for and a solid season on the table, but dreams of grandeur are officially extinguished. What can you do? Sometimes your dream season is ruined by a team UVA beat. It happens. I guess. It did happen, I know that much.

Trending: Steady, excuses or not, losing to a team UVA beat is hard to overlook.

Bryan: (Sigh…). What a dud. Props to GT foremost for whooping our ass. Offense ran a clinic against us.  Defense sucked so if you told me we’d concede 31 points before the game I would have lived with that. And while I realize GT controlled clock a lot, offense simply sucked when it had the ball. I don’t know why we even tried running the ball. It was apparent early D.J Howard and Mike Bellamy weren’t doing shit on the ground. Should have just gone to the UNC gameplan, ditch the run altogether and chuck the ball. I understand maybe needing to give the defense a breather so 3 and outs in 30 seconds don’t help that, but when your behind 2-3 scores trying to keep your national championship contender status alive, umm, that’s too bad, suck it up. Tajh Boyd just proving what I said all year, which is he’s a product of Sammy Watkins MUCH MORESO than Watkins is of him. This kid was backing Kyle Parker up for a reason. He is heavily benefitted by this system. But, I don’t want to make this all on Boyd. It wasn’t. Coach Swinney said it perfectly after the game, “They just whipped us.” No two ways about it. In fact, that leads to my second rant. What happened to college football fans being so passionate and ruthless in the south? For all the booing we’ve done of Clemson early this year, I was amazed at all the supportive tweets and comments I saw yesterday. Maybe it’s because all the negative ones weren’t retweeted by anyone, but WOW. “You played great, nothing to be ashamed of.” Really? I can think of a few things to be ashamed of. Mainly getting GT’s dick shoved down our throats over and over. Too graphic? Sorry, this isn’t Disney.com.  Anything less than an ACC title at this point is an embarrassment.

Trending: Nowhere. Your wins do nothing for me. By the time Arkansas is done choking the chickens this weekend, you’ll have no worthy wins left on your resume’. I’d say the ceiling for you is 6 or 7. Lose another game to a team on your schedule before ACCCG and you’re out, plain and simple.

10. South Carolina Gamecocks (Bryan: 11th, K.M: 11th)- 10 points

Bryan: Another unimpressive win and while the pollsters have you ahead of Clemson, I just can’t do that yet. You haven’t really beaten anyone of note. You lost to a team at home that Clemson whipped up and down the field in the second half, and without Lattimore, you’re just a mediocre SEC team. I’ve defended you like few Clemson fans would defend the Gamecocks, but your time in the sun is quickly coming to an end.

Trending: Out after Arkansas beats the living hell out of you.

K.M: Banged up, overrated, and in massive trouble. But hey, with the HBC, you never know. I’ve seen dumber Spurrier teams pull upsets.

Trending: Out, or up a fair amount if they pull off the upset.

11. Nebraska Cornhuskers (Bryan: 10th, K.M: 13th)- 9 points

Bryan: Very impressive on Saturday. Though Sparty is notorious for that late season big loss, you still dominated the game for 60 minutes and against a team as quality as I believe Sparty is, that earns you major props. In the meantime, you also keep yourself in contention for the Legends division which appears will be a 3-team battle. Pretty much just a win over Michigan from really putting a stranglehold on that spot. The defense finally showed signs of the elite defense we all expected it to be for the majority of the season.

Trending: Should be up next week. South Carolina losing moves you up a spot. If anyone else slips up, maybe even higher. Still that Wisconsin loss isn’t gone which was a whipping and there’s teams behind you who have games that should they win would certainly put them over you. Namely Kansas State. If Bill Snyder pulls an upset in Stillwater, they’re back in the top ten.

K.M: Solid W for Nebraska, no two ways around it. Here’s the problem for Nebraska. I still think they aren’t very good. They just don’t look like a legit top 15 team on the field, but the resume is solid, so here we are.

Trending: Not much further from here either way.

12. Houston Cougars (K.M: 9th, Bryan: N/R)- 7 points

K.M: 9 TOUCHDOWN PASSES. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!

Trending: I have no clue how much further I can move this team up. I’m excited to find out.

T-13. Kansas St. Wildcats (Bryan: 12th, K.M: N/R)- 4 points

Bryan: Overreact to one major blowout? I won’t do it. I figured you’d lose. I figured Oklahoma would cover the 14. I didn’t see that major smackdown coming though. Nonetheless, you’ve still had a remarkable season with a bunch of solid wins. Only problem is the schedule is finally catching up to you. Sooners and Pokes back to back weeks is brutal. Then you add in the Aggies high-powered offense the week after that? I said I’d be very surprised if you won more than one of those 3 games and wouldn’t be surprised if you lost all 3. That  thinking hasn’t changed. The clock has struck midnight on cinderella.

Trending: Out with another blowout loss. I can’t keep you top 15 with two beatdown losses. But keep it respectable in a loss and you MIGHT hold #15 next week considering how many teams I just don’t respect. Win and you’re top 10. You’ll easily be on the move next week, one way or another.

T-13. Michigan Wolverines (K.M: 12th, Bryan: N/R)- 4 points

K.M: I look forward to the day I can drop this team after their second loss. I really do.

Trending: Down and out.

T-13. Penn State Nittany Lions (Bryan: 14th, K.M: 14th)- 4 points

Bryan: Well Penn State, if someone told me after the Alabama game I’d be ranking you at #14 in the SSR with an 8-1 record at this point I’d have absolutely believed them. Why? Because I predicted you preseason to be 8-1, 5-0 in the Big Ten at this point. The bad news? I then predicted you to lose your last 3 conference games, so hope this trend breaks soon. Nonetheless, there’s not a lot of quality near the bottom of the polls and you are an entertaining team, even if it is in a bad way.

Trending: Maybe out, maybe up. You’re on a bye which can never help you. We’ll have to see what happens with teams around you. My guess is I’ll squeeze you in somewhere next week.

K.M: How is this team 8-1? This is ludicrous. Bryan called this, and I give him FULL respect for doing so. But even he has to admit PSU isn’t nearly as good as he expected them to be when he predicted that (I think at least). This team is smoke and mirrors. Halloween has passed. The time for tricks is over, and this team is no treat. OH YEAH THAT IS GOOOOOOD HACK WRITING.

Trending: Out. Soon.

Others Receiving Votes

Virgina Tech Hokies (Bryan: 13th, K.M: N/R)- 3 points

Bryan: What a terrible, terrible performance against Duke. Worthy of being dropped from the SSR. Still, you’re in first in the Coastal and can put one foot in the door for the ACC title game with a win at Georgia Tech a week from Thursday. Please do. I can’t relive 2009 with two losses to GT. Return the gift ranking I gave you here and get yourselves into that title game.

Georgia Bulldogs (K.M: 15th, Bryan: 15th)- 1 point

K.M: ARP ARP ARP.

Trending: OOOH YEA THEM DOGS GONNA SICK ‘EM.

Wisconsin Badgers (Bryan: 15th, K.M: 15th)- 1 point

Bryan: BLASPHEMY!!!! How can this team be ranked???? You shut your mouth. Wisconsin clearly just needs to be up more than a TD late in games. If this team has one flaw, its defending late-game midfield heaves. Otherwise they’re fantastic. But seriously, I’d take them on a neutral field against any team you throw at me who I have unranked and even some above them. Still wouldn’t call them dead in Leaders Division, but they’re getting close.

Trending: Nowhere. 2 losses really hinders what I can do with you.